Do you have an idea of what you would like that perfect mate to look like? Not only in appearance but in character and attitude as well. I do.
Here’s my list.
- Intelligent
- Sensual
- Attentive
- Bi-lingual
- Spiritual not religious
- Loves fine dining
- Cultural
- Loves to travel
- Business owner
- Pretty feet
- Loves to wear stilettos
- Independent
- Self-assured
- Dedicated to self-improvement
- Open
- Honest
- Communicates and shares easily
- Takes full responsibility for her life
- Does compare me to others
- Believes in me
- Takes pride in her appearance
- Realizes that we’re all work in progress
- Enjoys letting me shop for her
- Enjoys bed and breakfast inns
- Enjoys letting me love on her
- Not afraid to travel abroad
- Reads more than so called Black genre books
- Is open to experiencing love at the deepest level
- Doesn’t put me down because of my shortcomings but helps build me up
- Loves me unconditionally
- Willing to challenge conventional thinking
- Will not let me argue for my limitations
- Willing to leave me if I’m not committed to helping myself
- Refuses to settle for less
That’s quite a list and believe me when I say this is my short list. However, here’s the problem with a list such as this. There is no list for LOVE. The above list is great and its good to know what I desire in a mate but it’s all head stuff. That’s been my problem for most of my life I haven’t quite learned how to get from my head into my heart.
You will not find love by making a list. You can only find love by being loving. Love is found by loving yourself and all else is just a plus. The funny thing is that when you start loving yourself you will find someone else who will be willing to love you in much the same fashion. Love is an inside game.
I know it’s not an outside game because I have had so many people love me. I’ve had so many people accept me for who I am and just as I am. I have been unwilling to love myself. Sometimes I am afraid if I love myself that I will become so awesome that I won’t be able to stand it. I’m afraid that if I love myself then it opens me up to love someone in the same way. I’m afraid because I don’t really know what that looks like and the only place I’ve seen it was on the big screen.
I’m going to begin loving myself by taking a few baby steps. One of those baby steps was making it public that I have been very unloving toward myself.
That’s my spin on love.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
It is not often that I find someone willing to share such intimate details via this medium…the internet. And when I write intimate, I mean the true essence of the word…in to me i see. Thanks for sharing.
J-licious
Your idea is brilliant