I truly believe that God does not give us more than we can handle. In fact, I believe that we create the world in which we live. If we’re not creating it then who is? When I see someone going through a difficult time I get great solace knowing that they have the capacity to handle whatever they are currently going through even when they don’t see it themselves. When someone is in pain that simply means its their time to experience pain and to move through that pain and emerge a stronger individual. It’s there time and not mine and I want to be clear about that. Consequently, when I’m in pain and experiencing troubling times then it’s my time to grow and not my friend’s or family’s time.
Just like you can’t be sick enough to cause anyone to get well, neither can you hurt enough to absorb someone’s pain. When someone is in pain all I can do is sit with them and allow them to vent. I can’t do the work for them just like they can’t do it for me. I’ve found that when I try to jump in and do someone’s work I impede the natural progress of the universe causing even more harm. When I listen, am supportive and totally present I am witness to the enormous untapped power that exists in everyone.
There are four ways that I know to move through a painful or challenging situation. You can curse it. When you curse what is you give it more strength. Instead of being a tidal wave it becomes a tsunami. What is – Is, so why not embrace it? Cursing the pain is almost like saying that you know better than God what is best for you.
You can nurse the pain. Nursing can prove useful but it doesn’t allow you to go anywhere. Nursing is a disguised form of stagnation. Nursing keeps your mind on the pain and keeps your mind off of finding solutions for moving through the painful situation.
You can rehearse the pain. Rehearsing is where you play the situation that happened only once a thousand times in your mind. You think about all the “what ifs” that have little to no significance about what is really happening now. Rehearsing keeps you locked into the past while squandering the present moment.
You can reverse it. Reversing requires you to look at the gifts that are present in your painful situation. Reversing is where you see yourself as the victor instead of the victim. Your like a phoenix rising from the ashes. This is the rebirth that many churches speak of. This is the point in which you strengthen those flaccid life muscles. Reversing often involves waking up the next day wondering how in the hell your made it through the previous day’s challenges.
Curse, nurse, rehearse and reverse are each stages and you may find yourself going through each one of them. Just remember to minimize the down time in the less advantageous stages and you’ll be just fine.
That’s my spin on it.
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Rickey,
Minding my business has been a challenge for me. Not because I’m nosey and meddlesome. My thing is I think I can ‘fix it’. I’m what you would call a ‘handywoman’. Have problem, will fix it. I am learning to allow others their mistakes. I’m starting to look at it different. I now realize that when I step in to ‘fix it’, I hinder their growth. Just the opposite of what I say I want. Thanks for the reminder to mind my own business.