I recently read that we incarnate in our bodies for one of two reasons. The first reason that we choose to come here is mainly to have a personal growth experience. We come here to more fully participate in life and to evolve more consciously. The second reason is to produce an impact in the world. We are here to upset the status quo on a large scale, so to speak, so that all of humanity benefits in a positive way. I have also come to understand that most of the time it is a blend of the two with one being the more dominant path.
Regardless of the path we choose we always have complete freedom. This is contrary to what most religions teach whereby that claim that God is demanding us to walk a chosen path. God doesn’t want or has any need for any prisoners especially when we are so good at imprisoning ourselves. Its overkill to have a prison within a prison.
I haven’t quite figured out what my dominate path is but I somehow feel that it to change humanity in a profound way. In order for me to do this is going to take a level of transparency that I don’t personally think that I’m ready for. This blog is helping me to confront my fears in chunks. I recently encountered a guy’s blog that personified one of my biggest challenges in life – FAMILY. Somewhere along the way I became desensitized to the idea of family. Witnessing my mother being physically abused as a child really altered my psyche regarding family. Sometimes I get both angry and excited at the mere mention of the word. So when I came across DJ Judah’s blog and the caption was “Father.Husband.Entrepreneur.DJ.Crazy” it really stirred up some very uncomfortable feelings inside of me.
See, I’ve never saw myself as a family man. Furthermore all my attempts to do so have failed miserably. The funny thing is that I’m a very sensitive person who would give you the shirt off my back. I also feel very deeply that if one member of a family struggle then we all struggle. Go figure. Life’s incidents has a way of screwing everything up. Perhaps a more accurate statement would be that I have a way of allowing life to dictate my journey.
Can you see how my inability to connect deeply with family imprisons me? I look at people like DJ Judah and see that for myself, yet when I try to move in that direction my feet seem to be cemented to the earth beneath my feet. The love I have just swirls around inside of me and I’m not allowing it to benefit anyone else.
Sometimes I think God sits back and watches while we entangle ourselves and then blame him. Of course he doesn’t take anything personally and realizes that we have just temporarily stepped off the path only to return to the main road once again. God does not want me or you to be anywhere that we don’t want to be. God’s will for me is my will for myself. Therefore, when I’m ready to let go of the past and embrace the impossibility of now he’ll be there to support me.
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