I was always intrigued by the question “are you saved?” I would reply by saying “saved from what?” I’ll admit that I was taunting with the person just a bit because I think I knew what they meant. When I talk about saving yourself I’m talking about the way I show up in life on a daily basis. Saving yourself has taken on a bit of a different meaning for me lately though. I now realize that I am virtually worthless to someone else unless I save myself first.
I cannot make myself poor enough to make someone else feel rich. I cannot be sick enough to make someone else feel well. I cannot be dumb enough to make someone else feel intelligent. In order for me to be able to help anyone at all is that I’ve got to be very self-serving and save myself first. Airlines companies have known this for a very long time and this is the reason why they instruct you to put your mask on first.
This tends to be a very difficult task for me because as soon as I discover something new I immediately want to run out and tell the world. Almost invariably it backfires in my face. Either the person is not as excited about it as I am or they laugh at me and think that I’m a silly dreamer. Sometimes I get them to buy in but only for a very short time then they revert back to old habits again.
Saving people from themselves is a very tough gig. I don’t know if you’ve every tried it before but its quite similar to dragging dead weight across the finish line. It’s exhausting and when its all done you discover that you’ve really helped no one. I was not put here to deny others of all the experiences that came here to get. I’m here to save myself first and just maybe somebody might notice that I’m doing a fairly good job and inquire about my results.
The art of selfishness is truly an act of selflessness. It’s frustrating to me to want to give but not be in a position to give. It’s even more frustrating when you like to do it “Big Willie Style” like I do and your choices are made by how much money you have in the bank. There are so many of us with good intentions that never get fulfilled because we’re actively out there “saving” others while our own lives are put on hold. I’m tired of sitting at the buffet table only to realize that my arms are too short to reach the food. This is the kind of truth that God loves.
That’s my spin on it.
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