Comments on: This Is Not What I’m Hearing http://rickeybenns.com/this-is-not-what-im-hearing/ Not necessarily in that order! Thu, 03 Jun 2010 23:21:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: J_licious http://rickeybenns.com/this-is-not-what-im-hearing/comment-page-1/#comment-120 J_licious Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:29:46 +0000 http://rickeybenns.com/?p=841#comment-120 This post is near and dear to my heart. I was in a relationship for 8, almost 9 years where not only did I get the opportunity to hear AND see my partner cheating, I got the opportunity to experience it over and over again. And not with just one or two women during the course of our relationship. I'm talking at least one or two different women a month. I can not begin to tell you how much pain I experienced in those years. My heart bleed, I shed oceans of tears, waited up at night for countless hours, begged and pleaded until my voice went silent and still nothing changed. At least that is what I thought. In truth, I died a little each day. And with each death, I evolved.<br><br>I learned that in order for me to truly love another, I must first love myself. And the first order of loving myself was to let go of the toxic relationship in which I was currently engaged. I had to love myself enough to let go so that something better and more suited could replace it. And with that self-love, I learned to love another enough to let him live the life he chose for himself. As you suggested, he was having a damn good time, he was doing what brought him happiness. Who was I to stand (or try to) in the way of his happiness? I was only denying myself of MY happiness.<br><br>Yes, the truth can be difficult to hear; however, living a pitiful existence in a love-less relationship is even harder. Thanks for telling it like it T-I-S.<br><br>J-licious This post is near and dear to my heart. I was in a relationship for 8, almost 9 years where not only did I get the opportunity to hear AND see my partner cheating, I got the opportunity to experience it over and over again. And not with just one or two women during the course of our relationship. I'm talking at least one or two different women a month. I can not begin to tell you how much pain I experienced in those years. My heart bleed, I shed oceans of tears, waited up at night for countless hours, begged and pleaded until my voice went silent and still nothing changed. At least that is what I thought. In truth, I died a little each day. And with each death, I evolved.

I learned that in order for me to truly love another, I must first love myself. And the first order of loving myself was to let go of the toxic relationship in which I was currently engaged. I had to love myself enough to let go so that something better and more suited could replace it. And with that self-love, I learned to love another enough to let him live the life he chose for himself. As you suggested, he was having a damn good time, he was doing what brought him happiness. Who was I to stand (or try to) in the way of his happiness? I was only denying myself of MY happiness.

Yes, the truth can be difficult to hear; however, living a pitiful existence in a love-less relationship is even harder. Thanks for telling it like it T-I-S.

J-licious

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